How Envy and a Burned Barn Can Be Good Things
Envy can be a good thing.
It can be a way to hear your inner self or soul speaking to you if you listen in a healthy way.
The other day I was reading a memoir and the woman’s daily life – what she did for a living, what her schedule was like, where she lived – made me envious. My heart just danced around when I imagined having a similar lifestyle – one that I wanted for myself.
I wasn’t jealous. Jealousy is tinged with resentment.
I wasn’t covetous. I didn’t want to take her job and home from her and claim it as my own.
The envy made me notice what type of lifestyle would really make me happy. And then the envy spurred me on to begin to make changes so that one day I would be able to live in a style that is more authentic at this stage in my life.
Have you ever heard about a job someone had and felt that was exactly the type of work you wanted to be doing? Have you ever visited someone and felt that their home – whether it was the style of decorating, the location, the type of dwelling, or even how de-cluttered it was – was exactly how or where you wanted to be living?
That’s the healthy, sit-up-and-take-notice type of envy that I’m talking about. It’s letting you know what you really, really want deep down inside.
When you hear words in your head telling you want you should want that’s not your soul speaking to you; that’s your rational mind. When you feel in your gut what you want – now that is your soul. Your soul speaks in feelings, through an inner knowing, and intuition.
As I wrote earlier, I’ve begun to take steps – some large and some not so large – to claim the lifestyle that I want so dearly. It’s one that I know will make me be more of service to my self, my loved ones and my community. It’s one that is more in tune with the real Anne. But – steps need to be taken. – by me
I firmly believe that as we take action – whether it’s looking for a new place to live, returning to school for a certificate or degree, leaving a bad relationship, taking a class, traveling , even changing our mindset– you name it – that our actions are met with some form of divine intervention. You get a tip on a job posting, an apartment listing, you meet someone who can provide guidance or assistance. It’s your doing that is the catalyst to bringing in assistance from a higher source (however you chose to name it).
The Burning Barn
I know I’ve been writing a bit cagily about some challenges that I’ve been experiencing since the beginning of the year. It’s taken all my energy to see the upside while standing in the middle of rubble. But it can be done – with a lot of effort and self-talk and prayer.
A poet and samurai from the 17th century, Mizuta Masahide, spoke to me through his haiku and this has helped carry me these past months.
Barn’s burnt down now I can see the moon.
I try to begin and end each day outdoors because it makes me feel connected to the natural world around me. It takes me out of my head and places me among the other things – the trees, the rabbits, the robins, the rocks – with which I share the earth. I took a moon bath the other night under that beautiful harvest moon – allowing the moon to bathe me in its light. And I remembered Mizuta and his poem.
As the summer draws to a close and we near the end of September, my wish for you is that you take the advice of the great singer/songwriter, Steve Forbert as he sang in Romeo’s Tune:
Meet me in the middle of the night
Let me hear you say everything’s alright
Sneak on out beneath the stars and run
Pay attention to what you envy and then take steps to turn your desires into reality.
Take a moon bath.
And go run beneath the stars.