I’m not good at leaping. I’m trying but it’s not my favorite thing to do.There, I’ve admitted it.
Over the past year I have really made an effort to move out of my comfort zone, which is not really comfortable at all if the truth be told.
I started doing more things that I wanted do to.
I offering workshops on topics that I feel have the power to bring positive change to people’s lives; topics like de-cluttering and the negative effects of multitasking.
I complemented the coach training that I received from Martha Beck with intuitive coach training from Sue Frederick. The responses from clients on this hybrid coaching model have been extremely positive. Using numerology and intuition as a basis for the coaching is much more aligned with my way of viewing life.
But there’s still a part of me that is so hesitant to dive deep into real change. Sometimes I’ve gotten to an edge where I’m challenged to leap to the other side – but instead of leaping, I’ve set up a folding chair and sat, and sat, and sat.
Other times I’ve actually folded up the chair and headed back in the direction from which I came; I went backwards.
And then there were the times when I’ve sat at the edge, afraid to make a decision until some event pushed me into dealing with a decision that was made for me. Those events were never what I would have chosen if I had, well, actually chosen. The decisions that I allowed other people to make for me were nothing short of pushes off the edge. And you know what happens when you’re pushed off an edge. You fall.
I had a very enlightening talk in March with Sue Frederick. I now describe the conversation as enlightening, but to be honest, I didn’t always describe it that way.
One of Sue’s comments stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Anne,” she said, “you’re having a crisis of faith. You just don’t believe.”
Me? I got my back up. How dare she say that. Did she have any idea how many books on this very topic that I have read? How many of those books sit on my nightstand? In fact, one of my recent reads was Faith by Sharon Salzberg. There, take that Sue.
The statement bothered me for weeks. I took it as a criticism; but then, after I licked my wounds, I realized it wasn’t that at all. When I was ready to move my ego aside to really hear what Sue was saying to me, I knew that the statement was true.
I was not walking the walk. It was time to move my faith from the night stand book stack into my daily life.
Coach, coach yourself
Faith involves leaping. It involves believing that the Universe or God, whatever term you use, is abundant love. And that love is available 24/7.
It involves believing that we are never alone and that we are supported in ways we could not imagine. But we have to believe it – have faith.
That’s not to say we won’t encounter sadness, or loss, or challenges in life. We will – guaranteed. Or that some things that happen may not seem fair. But we never walk through the “bad” things or challenges without the unconditional support of this abundant love.
You might have heard the phrase, “Physician, heal yourself.” I took Sue’s words as the challenge of “Coach, coach yourself.”
I began to coach myself in ways that I coach others; by asking:
- Can you push aside all those war stories that you continually tell yourself and anyone who will listen?
- Is what you are thinking true? How do you know it’s true? Can you come up with a few ways in which it’s not true?
- Can you cast off the excuses made as to why you can’t and look instead at why you can?
- Are your thoughts freeing you or chaining you? Or as Martha Beck asks, does it feel like shackles on or shackles off?
- Where would you be without your fears?
- What small steps can you take to change a situation? And more importantly, are you willing to take those steps that you just identified?
- What is your body saying to you about a situation, a thought, a fear? Do you have a feeling at your core – or in your heart – or in the pit of your stomach – that you can’t ignore?
I’m trying every day to move through my fears that have the power to immobilize me if I let them; those fears that can cause me to retreat or, worse of all, be indecisive.
Are you feeling the same about some part of your life? Are there situations or relationships that you want to end? Are there things that you long to do but for some reason aren’t doing?
Be Careful What You Wish For
To be completely TAO (another Martha Beck phrase meaning to be transparent, authentic, and open), I’ll tell you that sometimes I’m afraid of my own power; the power that comes when I allow my soul to steer my life. My soul always takes me in the right direction; it’s a good navigator. My soul has the courage to steer straight through the storms caused by fear. But often I don’t allow it by asking my soul to drop anchor and stop sailing. To stay put.
Sometimes, as Sue said, I lack faith in my soul.
When you remove your soul from the captain’s seat, you turn our back on the gifts and talents you’ve brought to this life, choosing instead to live a mundane life where you’re always deferring some form of joy until: you have the money, the time, the kids have graduated and settled, you’ve save enough, you retire, you meet your soul mate, you lose the weight, your boss recognizes and rewards your work…pick any of all of the above.
We wish for things, but then too often, when things start to move in the direction of our desires we get scared and then we put the brakes on and retreat. Well, maybe not you, but I know I’ve done this.
The Birth Announcement
I’ve been writing a book for a few years. And now I’m ready to release it into the world. And it’s scary – because I’ve put my soul on those pages. But it’s scary in a good way; that kind of scary moment that gives you butterflies in your stomach – like right before you have that liberating jump off the diving board.
I shared the drafts with a chosen few for editing and comments. But now I’m ready to step up and out. I’m in the beginning stages of publication.
It’s been a dream to publish my memoir on pilgrimages I’ve taken and their transformative power. And now, it’s ready to be born.
The book’s publication is going to ask me to shift my thinking, to begin to live the life I’ve dreamed of rather than settled for. And not only is that okay, it’s very much needed. Why? Because I deserve to live a joyful life– and so do you.
You Deserve It
You deserve to live that is centered more on joy than fear. I know that you deserve this, but do you believe this?
I’m happy that I will be able to celebrate the upcoming birth of my book with you and I look forward to celebrating your joyous moments with you.
And, if you look at the edge now, the chair is still there, but it’s empty. I took a leap! Yippee.